Hey Dude! Quit Calling Me “Dude”
I recently received a joint venture invitation from a Internet business products merchant that suggested I should ‘grow a pair‘ and promote their upcoming launch.
To sweeten the pot, affiliates could win an XBox or a collection of cool videos that included “Dumb and Dumber”. (Oh goodie!)
Oh… and the email addressed me a ‘dude’, as have so many others that I’ve received in the past year or so.
If you don’t see the humor in that, let me share something with you — I am a woman fast approaching the big 5-0H.
Would you call your mother “dude”?
If you have, you might recall the ‘what planet are you from?’ look she gave you.
That’s because we hear the word “dude” according to its original meaning (and official definition as per the Oxford English Dictionary) – an American slang term which refers to men – despite the fact that Wikipedia states that the word “dude” has evolved to become more unisex.
Do you understand then how I might think that your JV invitation wasn’t really meant for me?
Or, are you thinking “go with the flow, dude”?
I could, but your unisex argument completely fails with the ‘grow a pair’ remark and toys for boys prizes — and having seen “Dumb and Dumber” once is more than sufficient.
OK, I do get where you’re coming from.
I know that the vast majority of affiliates on your JV partner list are young men like yourself. You want to motivate them to promote for you and challenging them in a manly way really gets their juices flowing… especially the drool over the prospect of winning a toy with which to play.
But don’t you care if one or two Super affiliates who don’t fit your mold choose not to promote on that basis?
If that’s the case, consider this…
The market in which you play is HUGE, appealing to all regardless of race, creed, color, age or gender. By encouraging sales by a specific demographic who might take your tack and appeal to the same demographic, you might be limiting availability of your product to a smaller, less affluent market.
When you exclude one or more Super Affiliates with wider audiences, you could be tossing 10% or more of your possible revenues. Ten percent of 50K will get you a BOSE(R) Lifestyle Home Entertainment System or all the Xbox goodies your little heart desires. And 10% of half a mill is what — a downpayment on a house?
It PAYS to learn to write copy that addresses widest possible audience.
Take tips from the copywriting giants, such as Dan Kennedy, Yanik Silver and Joe Vitale — guys who know how to make each reader feel like the email copy was written just for them.
Or check out this great little ebook “Confessions of a Copywriter” by Lenny Eng and endorsed by Joe Vitale. One of Lenny’s points is that “Nothing increases conversions like your offer”… and when you send a JV invite, you’re making an OFFER.
Want more info?
Rosalind Gardner is a Super Affiliate blogger, author, speaker, and Internet marketing consultant.
If you enjoyed this article and want to be notified the next time Rosalind writes something, subscribe to her RSS feed or the No-Hype, No-BS, No Spam NPT newsletter. You can also follow her on Twitter and Facebook. Thanks for visiting!
Oh absolutely. Thank you for this! You hit a raw nerve (next to the one triggered by those who snap chewing gum – *shudder*). I’m not saying copywriting is a lost art – far too frequently it’s an unfound one.
Another tool for your utility chest: http://www.virtualsalt.com/rhetoric.htm – great for those rarified few who in high school became overwhelmingly thrilled at the prospect of conjugating verbs and parsing sentences.
Ah Casey,
You’ve found me out. I’m the kid who used to read the dictionary for fun – so your tool suggestion is MUCH appreciated!
Cheers,
Ros
I can’t stop laughing Rosalind. You make my day. You are such a great writer.
Regards,
Milton
Hi Milton,
Thanks for sharing that the article made your day. It was a LOT of fun to write. ;-/
Cheers,
Ros
Wow, and I thought I was dense. I just kind of took it for granted that writing to a mass appeal went without saying….
‘Dude’ started becoming popular when I was young, but the girls we always called ‘Dudette’ (pronounced Du-det). It started off as being a smart-aleck but quickly turned into “proper slang” (if there is such a thing).
Thanks for the tip about alternate first prizes, I hadn’t thought about it.
– Jeffery
Hi Jeffery,
I guess one must be of a certain age to understand the advantage of mass appeal, or maybe just intelligent.
As to alternate prizes, most merchants do offer cash value for their prizes… usually at wholesale prices, though.
Cheers,
Ros
Ah, the joys of dealing with Gen X and Gen Y ‘entrepreneurs’.
LOL! Great rant! I don’t really worry about it too much though…. I am secure in the knowledge that us women in the 40+ age bracket ROCK!!!
Hi Rhonda,
Ya, I don’t worry about it too much either, really. Some of my good friends are in their 20’s and what they call me (all in good fun) can’t be repeated here.
Cheers,
Ros
Hi Ros -
A while back I Tweeted about that very factor even though I am a guy. I think it went like this, “If you address me as “Dude” I will most likely just delete your email.”
Wikipedia said in 1883 “…Periam used the term “dude” several times to denote an ill-bred and ignorant, but ostentatious, man from the city.” I like that as applied to your JV email.
Being a tad older than you I remember when this phrase crawled out of being used only in Western Movies and Vacation spots (Dude Ranches) and came to life, courtesy of the budding surfer culture in the early 60’s. Like, “He’s a gnarly dude, man.”
I love the Coen Brothers but like Wikipedia says The Big Lebowski elevated “Dudeness” to something to be aspired to. Personally I aspire to be free of dudeness.
Great post!
Lowell
Hi Lowell,
You’re right. I did want to add the ‘adult’ male perspective into that article and you’ve now done it for me, thanks!
Cheers,
Ros
“…a woman fast approaching the big 5-0H”…. Who are you talking about? Must be someone else since I’d guess you8′re about 39, like I am!!!! Somehow both of us no longer respond to rap or x-boxes (if we ever did).
Ha Ros! I had just read your dude-a-licious email and got one behind it in which I got called a guy! (Hey guys, don’t miss this!) I too am a Woo man who just turned the big 5 OH! I guess that’s what you call appealing to the masses, but these dudes and guys need to check their readers more carefully. Many of us dudes are wearing skirts and bras! (oh my!) Just goes to show the mentality of people nowadays.
I can’t believe you’d actually turn down a chance to own Dumb and Dumber though. (just kiddin!) I refused to watch the movie on the basis of the title itself. I feel dumb enough most days, without watching a movie about it:o)
Kudo’s Ros! Well done!
Well said, Ros, well said! I had a good chuckle when I read your post. I’m the same demographic as you and the ‘hey dude’ promotions usually end up being deleted.
-Joan
I’m a female who’s approaching the “big 5-OH”,too and I don’t mind being called Dude. I also liked “Dumb & Dumber” but I don’t think I would want to own it in my personal collection. HOwever, I do get where you’re coming from, Rosalind. That terminology is just a little too specific NOT to offend someone.
And they could have picked better prizes. Like a gift certificate to Sephora, maybe?
Love and always look forward to your wit and wisdom Ros. Living is SoCal I’ve recently dated a woman who’s daughters always caclled mom ‘dude’, Esp. in heated debate and / or conversation.
Another thing that gets to me, is “GUYS.” I have been part a few IM coaching programs and the audience has usually been referred to as …”ok, guys…”
when they know many of us are women.
It is not as bad as “DUDES”, but for me,(in the same demographic as Ros…) it always strikes a “what?” nerve.
5-ohish….Your still young in my book. And you’ve got more brain power than any “dude” that I know of.
my son catches himself calling me “dude… ah, dad” all the time. but i cut him a break since he is only 8 years of age and he is conditioned to using it when conversing with his friends. but then i’m not a “dudess”, so i can roll with that punch
Hi Stephen,
Good on you that your son catches and corrects himself though. He could probably write better copy than most of those guys.
Cheers,
Ros
JV invites always intrigue me and most times make me laugh at the approach that has been taken.
Most JV invites are nothing but a “Promote ME” and mention nothing about what a joint venture really should be which involves reciprocation. Basically the emails are just requesting me to be one of their affiliates, so why not just come out and say that?
I’ve been floored at the language used in some of the jv invites that have been sent my way. Why would I want to send my followers and subscribers to a product where the owner thinks nothing of them except the amount of money that they are going to contribute to his/her bank account.
I value my subscribers. Receiving affiliate commissions is rewarding and I certainly love it. But I also love hearing that my subscribers received great benefit from the products they purchase through my recommendation.
Thanks for the great post Rosalind. I’ll make sure to add some great gardening prizes into the mix when I approach you for a JV
Personally I prefer cash prizes over any other goodies that are offered. Let me choose the prize. I’d rather take my kids to Disney World than win a car.
Scott Tousignant
Hi Scott,
You’re SO right on all counts. I guess I’m so used to the terms “joint venture” and “affiliate promotion” having been used synonymously for so long that I didn’t even bother to talk about the distinction. Another post perhaps.
I especially appreciate your comment about “I also love hearing that my subscribers received great benefit from the products they purchase through my recommendation”. Many times that’s worth more than the commissions you earned on the referal, especially those $20 commissions.
I concur re the cash prizes, and almost always take the ‘cash value’ offer.
But ase we’re discussing prizes, I would really be happy with the Fiskars 9921 Softouch Micro-Tip Pruning Snips.
Ed’s getting tired of me using the kitchen scissors.
Cheers,
Ros
Sheesh, and here I thought JV’s were something to be highly prized, where just as a matter of course, you approach each potential Super Affiliate personally with a custom-tailored offer. Silly me, eh?
Thanks for the laugh, Rosalind. It SO needed to be said. But as one 50-ish something to another… Great work, dude!
(Sorry. Just *COULDN’T* resist!) <:[*]
Marya,
Silly you, indeed. Those individual JV offers have pretty much gone the way of the dodo – for me, at least. Who knows? Maybe they got tired of me not promoting after all that hard work.
But having said that, I did get 3 tailored offers from CJ merchants today. Wow!
Cheers,
Ros
Ros,
My teenage son has reassured me that it is considered acceptable to call guys and gals “Dude” but still . . . I suspect that, based on the emails I see, these folks think that good copy is only needed on the sales page. Thanks for the great commentary!
Thanks for the laughs, Roz, because I, like you, and for the same reason, am also really tired of all the viagara spam. Not applicable to ME. Your would be JV partners are clearly NOT Dan Kennedy proteges, or they would have broken up their list into small highly targeted segments, wrote a couple of dozen highly targetted pitches, and matched them accordingly. As Dan would say, your email should convince me that you are speaking directly to ME.
There’s also something to be said for having a professional demeanor and approach (and for most people, “grow a pair” is not considered a professional comment) if you want to be taken seriously. I recently found a vendor whose website I liked, applied to their affiliate program, and when I got back my “congratulations” acceptance email from the “affiliate manager” I was horrified. No affiliate links, no user interface to track results, no request for a SSN, just go ahead and link to us and we’ll do the tracking and cut you a check does not inspire confidence. Nor does an email so poorly written, so full of grammatical and spelling errors that the “affiliate manager” was either clearly a non-native speaker or illiterate, or both. I ran like hell. No thank you. And I would have passed your JV up, too.
Hi,
I always like the affiliate acceptance emails that come from ‘Your Affiliate Team’.
I picture a group of people all huddled around the keyboard trying to figure out what to say in response to their only affiliate application that day and then the puzzled looks on their faces when they see that I’ve cancelled my affiliation with them — for exactly the reasons you cited.
Cheers,
Ros
As someone who is almost at the big 6-oh I thought that this marketer needed a nudge towards politenes. His results will probably do this for him as he probably has annoyed over half of the market.
This “dude” would never NOT want to be able to address more than half of his market. -)
Hi Rob,
We can only hope that the results will nudge him towards politeness, but my guess is that if he’s so darned oblivious to the fact that his copy is exclusionary and therefore offensive, that he’s probably also oblivious to his loss.
Besides, I didn’t send him a copy of this post.
Cheers,
Ros
THANKS Ros !! I’m 60, and still pretty hip, but if I get one more e-mail from these little punks, addressed to “Dude”, I’m going to throw up !!
Hey Chris,
Shouldn’t that be “puke”? LOL!
Cheers,
Ros
Oh my, “Grow A Pair” is priceless, if I’d received that I would be rolling on the floor laughing. As you obviously were. Once I got up off the floor, I would hit “Delete” and move on to the e-mails from the professionals.
Sorry, but he was obviously mass mailing with no clue as to whom he was mailing too.
If it were me, I would certainly take a second look and address those few (super) affiliates personally….Dear Rosalind, or at the very least, Ros.
Know what I mean?
Ros, I wonder if the 3 tailored CJ offers were the direct result of your post? That would be too cool if they were. Uh… I mean, how delightful if they were.
Thank you for getting my name right. It doesn’t happen very often.
Hi Ros,
I hear you re “5-oh”, and yes, giving up on that second viewing of Dumb and Dumber must have been heart-wrenching!
I laughed reading your post. “Dude” is certainly one thing, but how about
“Hey Hon”? Like nails down a blackboard to me.
People need to remember as you say, that the world is your marketplace. There is a time and place for being cutesy. I would think that the initial contact is not one of them.
very nice article..
Nice Post Ros
As funny as this post is, it highlights the importance of personalisation in copywriting and the risk of alienating people if we don’t.
I am currently in the middle of reading Ultimate Sales Letter by Dan Kennedy and it is good book to start for anyone.
Tony
I cannot believe someone is calling you dude. I always think of the movie with Ashton Kutcher called “Dude Where’s My Car” Kind of a lame movie, but was funny listening to their slang. I don’t really here the term dude used very often anymore. My daughter always says “Hey Man” now to everyone whether they are boy/girl or man/woman. Enjoyed the article, Thanks.
ammmm coolllllll …… keep writing on such topics
keep it up ….
This really bothers me, too. It demonstrates a profound lack of respect for diversity in the field.
In recent months, I received an e-mail from a marketer/entrepreneur whose recommendations I usually respect, so I clicked on the link. The squeeze page was all about “bending the Internet over” and “making it your bitch.” Denigration of women AND rape imagery? Really?
I expressed my displeasure but never heard back from the affiliate I used to admire. I’m verrrrry reluctant to buy anything from this man now, even though he was “only” an affiliate for the offending marketer, and even though he makes his own very high-quality products.
Leslie, this hit a nerve with me so I had to jump in. Sorry Ros. Don’t mean to step on your toes! My eyes popped out of my head when I read what you posted. How demoralizing! Kudos to you for attempting to express your displeasure with this ‘affiliate’. How can anyone expect to gain respect from other people by blatantly using this type of sexual exploitation to get people’s attention. I suppose the ‘affiliate’ thought it was a real attention grabber and would draw sales. How totally offensive though! I am glad I don’t know the affiliate you’re talking about!
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