Program Cancellation Stuns Affiliates
Written by Rosalind Gardner on April 1, 2006 · Comments (14)
Filed Under Just for Fun ·
This is incredible! Read the whole enchilada!
TORONTO, Ontario–April 1, 2006–In a stunning announcement today, Google reported that it is shutting down its Adsense advertising program - effective immediately.
On hearing the news, one severely distraught “Adsenser” exclaimed, “I should have read Rosalind Gardner’s Super Affiliate Handbook and become a real affiliate marketer”.
The server handling sales of the Super Affiliate Handbook was down for about an hour this morning as thousands of newly unemployed “Adsensers” rushed to snap up the best-selling training manual for affiliate marketers.
Reading from a prepared statement, Ms. Gardner’s executive assistant Joel Bolton quoted her as saying, “They can’t say they weren’t warned. I’ve always cautioned affiliate marketers about the perils of relying solely on any single source of income. However, I feel for these folks and especially their families whose lives will now be seriously disrupted. Our resources will be available around the clock to help them rebuild their businesses on solid foundations.”
When queried about Ms. Gardner’s stake in the Adsense game, Mr. Bolton replied “Less than 1 percent of her total annual revenue was derived from Adsense. We’ve already put an alternative in place”.
Ms. Gardner, who is currently on one of her frequent and extended trips to parts unknown, was unavailable for further comment.
One of Ms. Gardner’s super-star affiliate students who refused to be named said “My affiliate business is solid primarily thanks to Ros. Thank goodness I listened!”.
A spokesperson for the SAH Fan Club confirmed that plans are underway to hold a parade when Ms. Gardner returns from ‘Parts Unknown’. It has been rumored that both Microsoft giant Bill Gates and Warren Buffett will attend the festivities.
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The “Super Affiliate Handbook: How I Made $436,797 in One Year Selling Other People’s Stuff Online” was originally published in June 2003 and is a complete guide to building a sustainable business as an affiliate marketer.
Affiliate managers from in-house programs and networks alike refer to the Super Affiliate Handbook as the ‘definitive’ guide on the subject.
The Super Affiliate Handbook is updated frequently to reflect changes in this rapidly evolving industry.
When not on vacation, Ms. Gardner writes, speaks and consults on the topic of affiliate marketing.
For more information about affiliate marketing and the Super Affiliate Handbook, please visit http://SuperAffiliateHandbook.com.
April Fools! (Sorry, I just couldn’t resist. 
)
“Adsensers”, you’re safe for today. But don’t ‘fool’ yourself into believing that any one-act play can’t or won’t be cancelled tomorrow.
Cheers,
Ros
Training for REAL Affiliate Marketers
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Comments
14 Responses to “Program Cancellation Stuns Affiliates”
cleverldy on April 1st, 2006 3:41 am
Hey Ros…
You either need to get out more, or if that’s not the problem, get yourself a hat. (The sun is causing damage, I can tell.)
Lisa
You’re right… I probably SHOULD get out more.
Ros
[Reply]
Pier on April 1st, 2006 5:55 am
Best compliments for the joke!
Best compliments for you advice!
Best compliments for this marketing lesson (I think it will be more effective than a lot af articles out there).
You are great, Ros!
Hi Pier,
Thank you, thank you and thank you… that was just too much fun to resist!
Cheers,
Ros
[Reply]
LetterMall.com on April 1st, 2006 6:29 am
Rosiland ….
What’s that old saying about Truth said in Jest?
Memory doesn’t serve me at the moment.
However, your little April Fool really should serve as a tidbit of truth as to the vulnerability we all face with ‘any’ program around today.
All it would take is for Google to change one parameter of their program that might restrict over 90% of current users … something like that.
I’ve had a product that was my number one affiliate seller totally removed from the market. Yes, I immediately felt the pain of that. It CAN happen … and probably WILL happen … no matter what it is.
Ok .. I’ll go back to sleep now.
Have a great day!
Art
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its_me_shaners on April 1st, 2006 6:41 am
HAHAHAHAHAHA, you cheaky monkey you !!
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cobra on April 1st, 2006 8:07 am
That was great Ros ( kudooos )Had me goin ;-).
Like the boots ( those boots were made for walkin ) Oh Ros it was really nice meeting you at Yanik’s Underground I was the good lookin guy (ya right) that was talking to you about a niche in China but we got interupted “oh well”.
gotta go now and thanks for the April fool:-)
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dcones on April 1st, 2006 8:23 am
Roz, you had me going for a while there until I got to the bottom of the article. I forgot what day it was. Good one!
I do have your book and have been working at applying it with a number of products and services. Yes, Adsense income is nice, but it is not my main income source. Your book should be required reading for anyone wanting to be involved in affiliate marketing. I love your straight forward approach to evaluating profitability before you invest time and money into a market place.
Thanks Roz for all you do. Keep this great info coming. I look forward to every email you send.
Dave
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manolosal on April 1st, 2006 9:38 am
Thank God it was a short post…I was already looking for my blood pressure pills!
Manuel
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homemlm.com on April 1st, 2006 10:16 am
Roz you are a
B eautiful
I ntelligent
T houghtful
C reation of
H eaven
for pulling a joke like that on all your faithful readers ^..^ the cat loved it.
Paul
LOL. Good one, Paul… and yes, I’m here to entertain the cats as well.
Ros
[Reply]
macgillivray on April 1st, 2006 14:40 pm
I’ll just bet the guys at Yahoo were rubbing their hands in glee! …. and that there were several advertising executives looking up the phone numbers of their corporate lawyers.
Great one! Congratulations.
Margaret
Ya, it’s always good to stir things up a little from time to time, especially in April.
Cheers,
Ros
[Reply]
Irma on April 2nd, 2006 7:55 am
OMG, that was a good one, Ros! With all the junk going around with a certain payment processor (I’ll be nice and not name them here), you REALLY had me going! All I could think of while I read it was, “Why are they shutting down such a profitable program?” LOL!
When I got to the ‘parade’ part, I knew it that was a joke…but I still thought the Adsense thing was real! LOL!
I haven’t really done much Adsense yet; I was just starting to explore it. Another reason why I figured it was true. After all, I’m getting into the mix, so of course it’s going to shut down. LOL!
That was a good one. Ya got me but good.
Take care,
Irma
[Reply]
Don Scott on April 3rd, 2006 7:49 am
Hi Rosalind,
I loved your April fool’s letter; real creative. I also adore your site for it’s interesting and dynamic subjects that you cover. Ive been on your mailing list for 2 months now and, along with the fun, I’ve been paying close attention to all the great tips and tricks that are helping me in my learning curve.
I’m now ready to invest in an affiliate “How To” program. One problem though, I’m perplexed and undecided which of the two I should invest in.
For some background, I’m an American who has been living in France for over 15 years, and because of slow dail up connections until 2002 I still wasn’t on the net, and in other words, I’m behind. Well, now since I am on internet, I see opportuntity in the Affiliate Marketing field, but being a total beginner, my knowledge is limited concerning all the technical intricacies necessary to get up and running, in that I’m not even qualified enough to know which program is best adapted to my situation. So, would you please help me by explaining if and how, your program will fulfill my needs.
Next, in the April Fool’s letter above, It seems that there are a lot of phrases that were made up to re-enforce the realism of the joke, but there’s a phrase that states that your assistant Joel Bolton is quoted as saying “Less than 1 percent of her total (you) annual revenue was derived from Adsense. We’ve already put an alternative in place”. Please tell me if this was also written in gest, or is it the truth?
I sure hope you can help me in my need for clarifation on these points. Most of all, I hope you’re not offended by my request. As for me, I find you quite congenial as a person.
Don Scott
Hello Don,
Thanks much for the kind comments. I’m always happy to help!
You may feel ‘behind’ but in real terms, the Internet and marketing online are still very much in their infancy. There is still PLENTY of opportunity for any and all who take the plunge.
My book is a great resource for beginners as is this site, including the blog and the forum.
Yes, that “Adsensers” post was tongue-in-cheek for the most part, but the 1% figure is on target. I haven’t replaced Adsense on the site because of course, they haven’t really shut down the program… yet.
Cheers,
Rosalind
[Reply]
Jen Carter on April 23rd, 2006 13:23 pm
Very funny - but it also gets the point home that it’s no good having all your eggs in one basket …!
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Bogus agents, WP2.5, simple upgrades and more… on April 1st, 2008 7:35 am
[…] Happy April Fool’s… and nope, no pranks this year, although I see that there were a few ‘take-offs’ around the blogosphere from the one I did in 2006. […]
Henry on April 1st, 2008 15:02 pm
why didnt you just say you were wrestling 8 foot alligators along with Britney Spears while taking Scientology advice from Tom Cruise ?
Ohhhhh,,,, CNN has Penguins flying to Argentenia today also. And turtles hooked on nicotene. The cancer centers are developping a turtle patch for them.
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